As a human being I would say I’ve been shaped, moulded and sometimes pummelled, by my experiences in life, I am who I am today either in spite of or because of my background.
Would I be a different person if I hadn’t lived through some of the traumas, the more challenging times? I’ll never know.
Did I have a choice?
I believe I’m a better human being for all that I’ve lived through, I’ve certainly had to dig very deep, draw on reserves I didn’t know I had and dance in the storm through some of the more difficult and painful times.
I’m a naturally happy person at my core, i gravitate toward joy, I love life and people and I have a healthy love and respect for myself.
But trauma can initiate internal displacement causing you to ‘lose’ that core of yourself. Looking for that ‘lost’ core of self is quite the journey. And it really is all about the journey.
The destination is the reward at the end of that journey though.
All my experiences to date and my desire to get to the heart of the matter, any matter, to determine key pieces of information for myself, along with understanding how best to communicate that understanding both to myself and to others, have been the story of my life.
My search saw me deep dive, to explore everything that I though would provide an answer. I knew things but often couldn’t articulate those things in a way that made sense to those around me. But with each step of my exploration I found a clue, sometimes several, like a jigsaw puzzle some of those clues fitted beautifully together.
Discovering astrology and tarot as a child was absolutely divine, they’ve been with me since then. I found answers to some of my questions and gained an understanding about myself, about who I am in this life and why, and some clues as to who I was in my previous life.
My chart told me things about myself that made so much sense so astrology has always been an integral part of my toolbox.
Discovering numerology a little later added to the strength of what I already knew about myself, giving even more insights into me as a person…and eventually me as a woman, lover, wife and mother.
Between the two – astrology and numerology – along with my intuition and connection to spirit, I had a fairly decked out tool kit.
I’m torn between what what is laid out as destiny or fate in this life though and free will. I believe there is a middle ground somewhere here and I also believe our lessons are laid out before we come into this life, that it’s the circumstances that give us our experiences here that we can choose…or not. And to what extent?
I love this topic as there are several different ways of looking at things.
If you’d like to continue and contribute to this conversation with your own understanding or questions, please do.